Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Marla Frees - Psychic/Medium/Matrixian

In life you run into people of integrity, not very often, but you know them when you see them, so to speak. We are also are influence by others, either through direct contact or by their words. Many times they are teachers, either professionally, or it is just the way they are, the way they interact with their world - they pass along knowledge and mostly wisdom. What teachers do best is to teach us how to LIVE in this world; it is the underlying message that is the bedrock of whatever information they may pass along.

If you have read Richard Bartlett's book or heard him being interviewed, or been to one of his seminars you know that he is such a man. I came to realize that Matrix Energetics is about far more than relieving physical pain, which it can be used for. I also came to realize that it has a Mind of Its Own. It can do things on its own without your knowledge, or approval for that matter. ME can do things, make things happen, that may not feel good, Hell, they can feel awe full in fact, yet the outcome is positive and life advancing. If ME asked you first “Is it OK if I break you down to build you back up", you will probably say "NO, no thank you, I like my mental and physical comfort, please ask me in a few months. I might be willing to consider it then, thank you very much!"

Other people of integrity come to mind. Buckminster Fuller has been a hero of mine for many years. I got interested when I build a geodesic dome house for some people back in my contracting days. His simple goal was to see what one person could do for humanity in a lifetime. Another is person of integrity is Whitley Strieber. He is an exceedingly intelligent and knowledgeable man. Listen to him on his show, Dreamland, and you will know the depth of his questions and understanding about the nature and complexity of Humankind. He is thought of by many as that nutter anal probe guy. He, however, has shown an unwavering integrity and the courage to ask tough questions, to interview other important teachers, to get the information out, information about not just aliens and UFOs , but about the wonderful as well as the wicked event taking place in our world : in our souls. Enter Marla Frees.

Whitley made Marla a regular interviewer on his show Dreamland at . She interviewed Dr. Richard Bartlett on the show in March 2008. Marla had taken the Matrix seminar which made the interview that much more interesting. It was my first exposure to ME, it whetted my appetite. "Could this be real ?" I asked myself. So I bought the book and there began my own Matrix journey.

Well, turns out Matrix Energetics is real, as is Marla. The difference between the two is that if you poke Marla with a stick she will probably react....not so ME. Marla calls herself a psychic medium. Saying the words psychic medium already either call up images good or bad, as our society seems to have polarized these words. On one hand you have those who immediately write psychics, mediums, or both o as charlatans preying on vulnerable people with weak minds who have "sucker born a minute ago" stamped on their foreheads. Or on the other end of the spectrum you have those who swallow hook line and sinker anything anyone with the title psychic or medium say as concrete absolute gospel and speak of it in tones which would lead one to believe they were talking of a famous Rock star.

I live 14 miles away from Lily Dale NY, the largest Spiritualist community in the world. Many residents there are mediums who hang out a shingle by their house and give hourly reading in return for American dollars. I have never had a reading at Lily Dale, unless you call the quick mini reading in a group setting one. That one was so far off the mark it felt a little awkward. I never paid a psychic or a reading , not because I thought they were hoaxsters, it was the thought of parting with $50 only to have someone tell you " you have an elderly gentleman who has passed who says you are going on a trip". I other words, none of them ever "felt right" enough to me to open my wallet. I have known people to get wonderful readings; giving such specific details that there was no question the information was not just cold reading. On the other hand I have known some who felt they were just throwing money down a rat hole. I simply decided not to gamble.

Back to Matrix AND Marla. I have mentioned in an earlier blog that within a week or two after Reading the Matrix Energetics book, all hell broke loose in my life. It felt like my world was coming to an end. Dramatic, I know how it sounds, but at the time that is how it felt. I needed help. Through a series of coincidences I contacted Marla to have a reading, to find some answers, to tap into whatever help I could get to help Me through this. I didn't relate any of this to ME, why would I? It was Marla who first made the possible connection.

I don't want to go into a massive amount of detail about the reading/dialogue/interaction. It would take too much time, would be painful, and would be difficult to relay how what she said was significant to me...and to ME! One significant similarity to ME is that when having a session with Marla, you also create a Sacred Space where transformation can occur.

What Marla repeatedly says is that she trusts Spirit, and allows what spirit has to say come through her. She doesn't have to know what significance the information might have; she just trusts it is useful for the person she is interacting with. It must have taken years to get to the point of trusting and acting on that. I have known few who were able to act on faith in any aspect in their lives. I include myself with those who do not trust going where Spirit guides ( or shoves ) them. I am getting better at it though, since practicing ME.

So was she right on target 100% of the time? No. Does that make the significant information any less significant? Also no. Does any doctor get the diagnosis right 100% of the time? Another big no there. Would that mean you would rule out consulting a doctor? Once again no. What it does mean is that you enter into a relationship where two people are interacting with the intent of getting some insights as to what the problems are and how they can be "healed". A doctor uses his/her medical training and knowledge and an enormous database of information to find heal. Psychics and mediums on the other hand, I think, tap into a database that is, perhaps, infinite.

How does Marla, or any psychic or medium do what they do? I don't know? I don't think it matters. I would ask each of you where your flashes if insight or intuition come from, however small? Somewhere from that infinite Zero Point? When they come do you have the skill and the courage to trust them? Cutting edge quantum physics, as I understand it, tends to prove mysterious powers of the mind rather than disproving them. Past present and future, maybe time itself, may just be constructs of our minds. Scientists are doing research on time travel and teleportation...and yet we don't throw them in the same basket with psychics and mediums and label them all frauds. Should you consult a psychic or a medium? It does cost slightly less than a particle accelerator and the gained information may be more useful in your day to day life than colliding theoretical particles that might not even exist. Spend the money you saved not buying a collider and take a little trip, or maybe purchace a small island country.

It can give you insights you may not get on your own, give you closure, help you heal. A session with Marla can also be FUN. She says “a session with her might not be what you expect - but it is exactly what you need". I would agree. If Matrix Energetics, or whatever else, nudges you in her direction, do what you would do with ME- go with what shows up because there are forces that know what is better for us than our own limited thinking minds.  

It is nice to get messages from loved one's who have passed. It is also nice to be helped by a person with integrity and compassion who is grateful to take part in doing the greater work. Marla's connection with Matrix Energetics is icing on the cake. Visit Marla's bog Marla Frees Light    for some interesting reading or visit her website .   Or you can click the links at rhe right.



Thursday, December 18, 2008

What Just Happened?!

Let me relate another Matrix Energetics story or two. I don't know what to make of these... but then again I usually don't KNOW what to make of any of them. This second one is just a tiny bit stranger. When I first started using archetypes at the Baltimore Seminar I found that quick flashing ideas or mental images might have some relevance to the person or situation present.  One of these stories  is different FOR ME because as far as I know nothing happened. I know, Richard Bartlett says something happens EVERYTIME! That may be true, like when I am sick and I am told there are little germs, viruses, or bacteria causing it, but I have no way of verifying that to myself - I just feel like crap. At least with an illness there are symptoms which are an outward manifestation of that illness. You cough and have a runny nose - cold. You get a cut and it gets red and painful and swells up - infection. 

With Matrix Energetics though, it is not always as cut and dried. You 2 point someone and they twitch, sway, or start laughing - ???? Or the more typical - nothing seems to happen; unless you call getting funny looks getting confirmation something happened. I don't. It is hard to discern between "that was weird" or “are you done yet”, or the puzzled skeptical look that can only say" is that it?” 

What may, for me, be some validation that something other than fantasy is taking place is the flashes of intuition I might get concerning ME. This can be either where to touch or place my hands, or an image or thought that comes to the fore. It can be a sort of picture or just a seemingly unrelated object or two. I remember one that was a teddy bear playing a violin that I was supposed to "place" into someone's abdomen. Another was the image of a glowing hot coal on the base of the neck of the guy who brings my hay and firewood for the farm.

I had just gotten back from Baltimore and felt fairly able to do ME with people. This guy was telling me about all his aches and pains as we unloaded firewood. He said his neck has been bad since an accident he had years earlier. As we finished and got off the truck and he was leaving I told him I was learning some weird light touch healing stuff and asked him if I could try something. I was behind him and I said just stand still...then I got the image of a glowing hot ember at the base of his neck at the side right above the shoulder...I was "supposed" to imagine blowing on this coal/ember like you do with bellows trying to get a fire going good. Left hand went there and my right hand was drawn to his lower back. I imagined some force shooting up from his lower back up and out through the ember on his shoulder/neck. I was in a moment of stillness for a few seconds and then felt like I was done. I said something like "Ok that is it". He then told me when I did it he felt this force shoot up from my lower hand out through where the upper hand was and he felt a burning sensation up where I was had my hand by his neck. That is exactly what I was imagining and I told him nothing. I said that is kind of how it works. He said good-bye and drove off. 

The next day he was going to bring about 6 more cords of wood. He brought the first cord and went right back to get some more. After he brought the second cord he said “you know how bad my neck was yesterday and how I couldn't turn my head...well after you did that thing I went home and my neck really hurt later that night...then the next morning the pain was all feels really good now. "I don't care if there is a blizzard n next time it hurts like that" he said, "I am driving over here to have you work on it." I said "maybe things were moving around and that is why it hurt so much later that night as things realigned"...but I also said " who knows?"

A couple of days later I was finishing the roofing on my hay loft. It was cold and windy and was supposed to snow in the next few days. I was using rolled roofing and I was using roof cement on all the seams. Toward the end of the day I had that wonderful black roof tar here and there on my clothes and hands. As I looked at the tar on my hand I had an idea that I would play a joke on my neighbor. She is a little 9 year old Ethiopian girl my neighbor adopted when she was really young. Her parents both died, at least one of AIDS, which so ravages that country. I was going to go over and show her my hands and say look I am just like you ...pretty soon there won't be any white left. She would give me a dirty look and say "Mr. Jim - stop it it's not funny, or something to that effect!" I know the joke isn’t really that funny and is definitely not PC.

This wasn't a well thought out plan just a quick devilish thought to tease her - the instant the phrase "I'm just like you " came to me so did these images. That phrase is at the heart of Matrix Energetics, I think - "I'm just like you ". The image was of her drinking this orange/red glowing liquid from a white porcelain bowl. I have no idea what it meant. I do know that I was compelled to go 2 point her. I should have cleaned the tar off my hands, but I got the impression that I wasn't supposed to - that it was part of the package. Here I go again...walked across the street and she was playing in the yard. She was really happy to see me. She always seems to be. I gave her a big hug and said I needed help cause I was turning all black. I asked her what she did to get it off. She gave me the "Mr. Jim!!!" line and we both laughed. Then we went to get her mother because I told her mother I had to do a Matrix Energetics thing on her daughter.

As if coming from an Ethiopian orphanage after both of your parents die isn't bad enough, she is showing early symptoms of a disease called Neurofibromatosis, which is passed genetically. The effects can be mild to debilitating and it usually shows up in kids about this age. She seemed fine and it wasn't causing any physical difficulty yet. It is a crap shoot of a disease. I always tell the mother to stop fussing over it, that she would be fine. The doctors tell her she probably WILL be fine, no way to tell at this stage, it could be crippling; only time will tell. 

It was a nice Fall day and we were in her back yard. I tell the mother I get the idea that she has to stand on bring her up higher. I never had anyone stand on anything before when doing ME. I was looking around for a bench or a chair for her to stand on. That is when her Mother said "how about that?”, and pointed beside me. I look down and about five feet behind me was a large upside-down WHITE PORCELAIN enameled bowl. I thought, Oh shit!...Twilight Zone. So I had her stand on it. I did a 2 point and told her that she was supposed to drink this glowing orange/red liquid from a white bowl. She pretended she did and smiled as I continued contact a little while longer. I tried hard to describe the liquid I imagined she was supposed to drink. I kept saying it was like the sun only more red, or it was like molten metal. To me I was reminded of what molten silver or bronze looks like when I am just ready to pour it into a mold. She wouldn't know about that, so I kept trying to describe it. We were done and she got off the bowl and gave me another hug. 

Her Mother asked " the glowing liquid...could it be lava?" Yes! That was it lava, why didn't I see that before. The best way to describe the glowing liquid in the white porcelain bowl was lava. The mother then said she came home from school today and couldn't stop talking about lava. They learned about in class that day. Once again I raised my eyebrows and darted my eyes back and forth...HUH!

The white porcelain bowl, the lava in the bowl both had some meaning that at the time, which earlier, when I imagined it, I had no clue about. Both things were somewhat precognitive and I cannot say that it was just coincidence. Both were very specific and involved this specific girl at that specific time. 

I didn't address the Neurofibromatosis. I have no idea how one would go about that. I only connected with the beautiful little girl and imagined her growing up healthy and happy. I don't know if anything happened despite Dr. Bartlett's insistence that ME works every time. I didn't get my roof completely done before the snow set in. 

Many of you may relate to this. I didn't get my roof done. OK, so it isn't completely tarred. Before I got allowed ME into my life, like a newly adopted child, thoughts, like that thought, would have caused me a lot of anxiety and harsh self judgment. Now I have more of a tendency to accept what is, do what I can, and accept the result. Not all the time, but much more of the time. Can I combine this subtle change within myself with the burning ember and the lava in a bowl, to prove that EVERYTHING is really just light and information and that Matrix Energetics collapses the wave of all possibilities and brings about TRANSFORMATION at the quantum level where all things are connected and time does not exist? I don't tell me!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

MEPA Syndrome - Matrix Energetics Performance Anxiety

Did you ever have a bit of luck at something and after that you were a little hesitant to try a go at it again because you figured you used up your luck on the last try, or maybe Lady Luck was just building you up so she could pull the rug out from under you and laugh as you fell backwards flat on your ass with that stunned look on your face. It could have been a remarkable tennis game, something you created that came out better than you thought it would, or a project or day that couldn't have gone better. Or maybe it was that last Matrix Energetics Experience. When you consciously try to recreate that day or event with force of will it just isn't going to go the same way. Don't get mad at me for pointing that out - It's just the way it works. It has to be a supernatural way, whether it is anything from singing to Matrix Energetics. Is it a Natural Law like gravity or getting a mustard stain on that shirt when you try so hard not to? Perhaps.

I think MEPA Syndrome is most likely to show symptoms after a Seminar. Not immediately after though, it may take a few weeks for your body to build up a resistance to the MEon wave/particles that infect you at a seminar. When I say body I really mean brain. Our old best freind/worst enemy - THE BRAIN! There is an energy at a seminar which makes it so easy to have dramatic physical results doing ME with others there that are filled with this same energy. It may be mostly Dr. Bartlett's energy radiating and affecting all those there like a lump of Uranium mutating us into Matrix Zombies like a scene from George Romero's 1968 film: Night of the Living Dead. People falling down and getting up again...and again...and again! Arms outstretched and two pointing might look to a passer by like one of Romero's zombies going after their prey. We were much better dressed and I think we had much better manners as a whole. Like in the zombies in the movie, the concept of respecting personal space was ignored completely at the seminar if one wanted to practice on human flesh. In the "Dead" series, anyone who dies comes back to life, unless the brain has been sufficiently damaged to prevent it. Yeah...I think that applies here too.

I don't think it is really just Richard Bartlett though who is responsible for the energy. Nor do I think anyone there was acting like a mindless zombie staggering around in search of a living body...OK there were moments of that, but you can also see that in the local 7-11 on a Friday night just as easily. I think it was all of us there; we didn't just come there empty. We brought something with us. I should say some THINGS...everything we are. We came filled and empty at the same time.

If, after a weekend like that you find it difficult to access this energy and find people in your regular circle willing to suspend consensus reality and allow for the possibility of a new reality of unlimited possibilities, it is OK. If your MEPA Syndrome keeps you from jumping in and 2 pointing as quickly and as eagerly as you did right after a seminar don't feel bad, I think it is just a normal reaction - an adjustment period. If you compare it to going on a really good vacation and the problems integrating back into your "normal" life after you get home it might make sense. The feelings of elation, the exotic scenery, the period of lack of responsibility, the willingness to try new things, fade into mere memories as you go about the day to day tasks that make up so much of most of our days.

Are we then destined to become Matrix Groupies, following the band from city to city, piling on more ME jewelry and accessories like those RV enthusiasts with 75 bumper stickers proving where they have been? I suppose you could. Why not? Who of us wouldn't like more wonderful vacations? If, however Matrix Energetics is what Richard Bartlett says over, and over, and over again - then it is not necessary. If it become part of us, OR, comes FROM part of us, or from God or Spirit then it is everywhere, at least everywhere we are. It is the inner life ultimately. The trips to far off lands are exciting. They are not, in the totality of life, the core, the things that move us to achieve, to grow, to go on. If ME is to have a lasting place in our being we must make uniquely it our own somehow. It would be easy, and tempting, to assign to ME seminars the task of giving you your next big ME fix. What comes to mind is the benefit of asking questions to/with ME. “What would it feel like if I could take a Matrix Energy pill everyday and keep my MEon levels supernaturally elevated?"

I believe, and I could be wrong, but I believe ME must become a natural part of my day to day life or it is of little use in the long run. I should be able to do it as naturally as driving a car or driving a nail, as natural as loving. How long does it take to get to that point, in an instant or in time? The old saying of it being like riding a bike may apply. I hope so. Still falling of the bike ( or wagon) a lot at this point , but still getting right back on, struggling and surrendering at the same time, doubting and trusting in the same breath..Oh,and I forgot - still having FUN.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Baltimore Matrix Energetics Seminar pt. 2

Level 1 &2. Three days. Three days which are different. Different from most other 3 consecutive days. Laughing, crying, disbelief, and wonder! 

I think it was on day 2 that things got weird. Let me rephrase that...things got Matrix. The emotions were intense at times. Mostly when practicing Matrix things with other Matricians. I remember practicing with one gentleman in his early 60s, I think. Almost as soon as I touched him he slumped onto my shoulder. He said he could stay there all day. I was instantly filled with an intense emotion and tears started dreaming down my face. It was a sadness...but it wasn't my sadness, I think it was his. This all happened in the course of 1 minute after first meeting him. We stood like that for a couple minutes and the feelings kept coming. I finally sighed, took some deep breaths, and kind of shifted. I saw WOW! That had never happened to me when I 2 pointed anyone before. His statement was something like "you have a really big heart". And we talked for a little while. I asked him what he did, as if slumping onto my shoulder wasn't much information. He said he was a psychologist, and had been for a long time. 

That is when the impression hit me that it was not HIS sadness, but the accumulated sadness of his clients throughout the years. He seemed very calm and quiet spoken. Somewhere inside him, I suspect was a kind of storeroom, or maybe more like a warehouse. This soft-spoken man would open himself as those who sought his help would open the floodgates of emotion. Like a Delta, I picture him diffusing the torrent, sending it off into a hundred different directions. But the volume of it was still there somewhere. And some of it became stuck in small pools long after the floods had receded. So maybe what I was feeling was not his sadness, but his compassion.

Richard told us about using archetypes. They can be anything. Mythical beings, real people - living or dead, cartoon characters, machines, angels, animals...WHATEVER. I had never tried them before but now I understood more how you use them. The trick is...whatever comes to you, however seemingly unrelated, just go with it. There was a tall guy I ran into. We looked at each other and made some arm gestures as to say “so you want to give it a try?". We talked for a minute or two. Just to get some background and get acquainted. He tried first. 

He stood in front of me and put his hands somewhere on my torso, I don't remember exactly where - it didn't really matter. He said I see a was some kind of animal riding the motorcycle I think. He said it was a group of motorcycles...they come riding of them gets off...he has a hammer? At this point he was questioning his imagination, but was willing to go along with it. He then said he takes this hammer....pauses.... he then looks around trying to figure out what this hammer is about. Hmmm...he said puzzlingly...looks like he takes this hammer and reaches back HERE and breaks something up? At this point he reaches around my back and uses his imaginary hammer and taps his fingers on a spot in the middle of my back beside the spine. It is where he touched that spot that REALLY mattered!

The moment he touched that spot I started laughing, and I mean laughing. I started to fall and he caught me and assisted me to the floor, laughing hysterically the whole time. I lay there on the floor in a room with a couple hundred people trying various ME techniques and I laughed, loudly, fully, and with abandon. He was laughing too as if seeing me in this state was like him touching me while I was holding in to a live strand of electric fence. I think I did that for about 5 minutes straight. I honestly don't know - it was so weird. He laughed for a minute or so then looked a little puzzled. His gaze said what just happened? I don't know myself why the uncontrollable laughter. It was great though.

What I do know is the significance of the spot that imaginary hammer struck me and “broke something up". It was nothing I told anyone there about and I had only met this guy a few minutes before and we only talked for about 2 minutes. The spot he imagined breaking up was a spot that had been painful on and off for about 5 years. I was sleeping with my Border Collie Bo on the couch. He was hogging most of the couch so I ended up sleeping on the edge. It was one of those pull out bed couches and there was a hard upholstered board running the length of the edge that gave it strength. Waking up after this I had sharp pain in my rib area, about the size of my hand, where it meets the spine, and it was sore also. The next couple weeks or so it was sore. Soon after, I started getting sharp pains where those ribs met the spine that would knock the breath out of me and drop me to my knees. 

The slightest wrong movement or turn would bring on these spells that lasted for about 10-30 seconds each time. I went to my physician who referred me to a chiropractor who did some things that felt better, but didn't relieve the sharp pain episodes. What my physician told me was that they were muscle spasms. That is why they would seem to pulsate for up to a minute, during which time they were in control and I was their plaything. When they came it was all I could do to steady myself and try to catch a breath. Now I have had lots of physical strains and injuries in the 20+ years I did construction work, but nothing like this. The muscle spasms went away after a couple weeks as the doctor has suggested might happen as my ribs tried to get back to their original position after being spread by that couch rail. It remained a sore spot that would cause a lot of pain and sometimes putting me in my bed for a day or two till the pain receded to a tolerable volume. 

The bottom line is it hasn't bothered me since the Seminar when that guy with his imaginary motorcyclist’s hammer hit me in that exact spot. Even when it didn't hurt I could always wiggle my back around or twist and feel where that spot was. I can't feel it at al now. How did he know? Neither of us had a clue. The point is, it doesn't matter if we knew why. The point is - go with what comes up. Don't analyze it or doubt it because whatever brings you this image or archetype is smarter than you. Be humble and allow it to come through.

After that I was still laughing, however I could form fairly complete sentences at this point so I was ready to try using archetypes with him. Like many people there I started with saying something to the effect of “I don't know why, but" ......"I am seeing a sea serpent over your left shoulder". Huh? It is making a circle around you like a Scottish sash (then made a looping motion diagonally around his torso to simulate how those sashes are worn).Then I, say something like “I don't know why but the serpent is now circling around your waist" (and I made a horizontal circling motion by his stomach). Wham...he went down and luckily I caught him because he was a big guy. He lay on the floor and I knelt beside him. He was having an extreme emotional response which I could witness but had no clue what it was about. All I knew was that I imagined a sea serpent circling his torso like a Scottish sash?

When he got up in a few minutes he described being flashed back to a traumatic childhood episode when he was an elementary school crossing guard. There was an episode where some kids were almost hit by cars and he was called into the office and screamed for a long time at for being responsible for almost getting those children killed. Turns out it wasn't his fault, but at age 11- or 12 when you are accused of such a thing it can be traumatic. The spooky connection was that they used to wear those crossing guard safety sashes that have one part that goes around your chest diagonally and another part that goes around your waist just like I hade imagined the sea serpent circling his body. How did I know about that? Beats me!

Matrix Energetics 2 Pointing Tip # 143 - Archetypes are crazy!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Toothache Be some other stuff maybe

The night after Cheryl Andersen's 6 hr. Matrix workshop I came home in a really great state of mind. I was instant messaging our semi-adopted Daughter. I told her about the workshop and how I had a delayed reaction Matrix whammy collapse me on to the massage table for 5 minutes. She mentioned that her tooth was hurting, actually it was a wisdom tooth that was breaking through, cutting and causing pain. She said it had been hurting steady for days. I thought about how Cheryl did most of her Matrix magic at a distance over the phone with her clients. Even though I had never done anything of the sort I was on a Matrix high and thought, Oh well, why not give it a try. Having just spent the day with other relatively normal people who were mostly new to this like me, I felt less foolish talking about it than I had before. I mean no one there had shrunken heads tied around their waists or claimed they were from the planet Matrixeon. If any of them were Matrixeonians they were keeping that secret to themselves.

I said something like, "let me try some Matrix Energetics on your toothache over the computer". Since we were instant messaging I told her to stand up close her eyes and relax for I think 1 or 2 minutes. After getting the ready...set...go...timing worked out like it was the final round of Jeopardy I stood up and thought about what to do. Facing south would be a good thing I thought. She is attending University about 50 miles away south of us, so of course facing south would send Matrix waves like an arrow straight to her. That is only logical, right? Logic has nothing to do with it. It just felt right at the time. I know ME is not like a 50s sci-fi laser gun...or is it? Next I "dropped down". Not really, I just tried to recreate that feeling I had when feeling connected to people I was practicing on in the workshop. The sensation for me is located somewhere loosely in the ribcage, chest, throat, head, hand, arm area. Sorry I can't be more specific because it isn't always the same. 

Holding a concept of toothache but not addressing this particular toothache I tried to expand my awareness. I figured I expanded it a few inches or possibly a couple feet. Not having an Acme Awareness Gauge, I had to guess. What really happened was that I thought about her childhood and intended that some of the emotional damage from that to be healed also, nothing specific, just whatever might help her. I didn't tell her about that part, I just said I would see if we could help the tooth.

About 5 minutes later she messaged a big OMG! She said the tooth pain was completely gone and the blister inside of her cheek where the tooth had been cutting also was completely gone. I was NOT expecting this to happen. I wasn't thinking anything would happen to be honest. The reason being that it is CRAZY! Hold your hands in the air in front of you and think about something and recreate a "feeling" and intend good things to happen and POOF...toothache and blister gone! Sorry...but that is crazy. It would be equally as crazy to deny that something amazing just happened. And now...the rest of the story.

3-4 days later I was talking to her and I asked her how she was doing when out of the blue she said her tooth hadn't hurt since. She said also had a breakthrough in the past couple of days- she has forgiven her Mother for everything and doesn't hold anything against her anymore. The feelings toward her mother weren't anger as much as profound sadness for being abandoned most of her childhood. She was kind of puzzled by the sudden change of attitude toward her Mother, and she was also thrilled by it. Something that had plagued her and caused a lot of anxiety was simply shed like Jacob Marley's chains. She also said that she all of the sudden lost her awkwardness talking to boys she likes. I was dumbfounded!

What? but....? Huh?! Then I told her that was the other thing I was "working" on. I was thinking about her self acceptance and self confidence, how if she could see herself as other people who love her see her she would be more sure of herself. This applies to everyone of course.

Was it ME or just a coincidence? Damned if I know. The toothache thing is strange enough. Healing childhood pain though? It is not that I don't believe these things can happen; it is that I don't believe that I can have an active part in causing them to happen. At what point will I believe it? Rather, I should ask, at what point will I KNOW it. Remember as a child learning to tie your shoe, or swim, or write letters correctly on that special ruled paper. Maybe it's like those. It might be second nature now for you to do the multiplication tables in your head, back then though, 9 x 8 might have left you staring blankly at the page doubting if you would ever KNOW the answer. Or how about those times you got lucky and guessed the right answer - WHEW! got lucky this time. How many times do I have to "get lucky" with Matrix Energetics before I'm convinced it is not just my imagination?

Monday, December 1, 2008

What's the Equation?

We want recipes and equations. We want 10 easy steps and a personal trainer. We want answers - not more questions. We want to KNOW instead of to TRUST.

In other words, we come up against ourselves. Smacking into ourselves like Wile E Coyote going face first into that fake painted tunnel. Like Wiley who thinks the painted tunnel is real, we think our image of ourselves is real too. SMACK!!!

How much easier to do Matrix when I feel positive, hopeful, happy, joyful, and perhaps the most import and, self loving. Trust me, I am no expert in this area. Self love and self-forgiveness are not the natural by-products of our culture. Few I meet are in that state more often than not. This includes those who put themselves out to the world as enlightened people. An overdrawn bank account, broken down car, or insult sends most of us into a state that could hardly be called self loving. I am not talking about what modern educational phychobabble terms "self esteem". Most efforts to artificially boost self esteem involve reinforcing the false ego and don't address the real problem. I taught K-12 Art in a small Pennsylvania coal mining town in the early 80s. I was the only Art teacher for about 900 kids. Self love was rare, and self forgiveness even rarer. It was a community not that much harder than the one I grew up in. The difference was in the classroom with them I got to see something different - a uniqueness about each and every one of them, both joys and sadness.

I got to see something else. I got to see them being creative. Stepping out of the everyday worries and competitions, they simply created. There is a feeling or consciousness you get into when you are making something that is very similar to when you are doing ME Self doubt and self hatred ( self loathing if you will) fade to the background in the creative process. Don't believe me, try making something when you are really pissed-off! If you are beating yourself up for past mistakes while creating, it will come out in not so nice ways in your artwork. Artwork Art-play? That is another similarity of Art to Matrix Energetics. Most artists I know enter somewhat into a state of play and let creativity flow through them in much the same way you play with ME and let whatever ME is flow through you. That is why it is an Art and not a scientific discipline.

It would be nice if Richard could just tell us " put the index finger of your right hand on the tip of the nose and the index finger of the left hand on the right elbow and that will cure arthritis 100% every time". A formula would be nice. Turns ME Book of Neat Cures to page 253 : RI (N) + LI ( RE ) = Arthritis cure. Heck. that would be a great reference book to have. We like recipes too. Add 2 cups 2 pointing with 1 cup Archetype, mix in 5 tbs. frequency 5 and add a pinch of focussed intent. Drop down in the heartspace for 3-5 minutes till person is cooking on the floor - is done when poked and edges spring back.

I haven't talked to a person yet who wasn't frustrated and discouraged trying to learn how to do Matrix energetics. I made a point to ask practitioners how long it took before they "got it"and felt like they could really to it. Some of them said about a year. It reminds me of my Drawing classes in college. We had 3 hr night classes sitting there with a live model, trying to draw a nude figure with a piece if soft charcoal on a big newsprint tablet. We would do repeated 5 minute poses then change to another pose and start again. It was discouraging and frustrating also. I would look at a sketch and think this looks like crap. After a while few looked just OK. Then more looked OK. Then I'll be damned if a few didn't actually look passable , maybe even one or two actually looked good. What happened to me as well as many was that you came up against yourself, then all of the sudden you break through a kind of invisible veil and make a kind of quantum leap. All of the sudden you can do it. You learn to see in shapes and shadow instead of thinking in lines. It happens when you aren't looking.

I hope the same will happen with me and ME. A point where I will be able to 2 point like drawing with the charcoal, let the ME creativity flow through me, stand back, look at the image on the page of what is happening in front of me and say "not bad - I like how that turned out" And- be able to do it consistently.

Like the Road Runner in the cartoon, Matrix may be the Trickster painting the tunnel which we to run head first full speed into. Seeing stars in this case might be a good thing. I just hope I can "get IT" quicker than Wile E Coyote, who NEVER got it. Hmmm...isn't the coyote supposed to be the Trickster? There I go again, just more questions!

"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past" - Thomas Jefferson